We arrived home this evening after being out of town for a funeral these past few days. It has been a long, emotionally draining week, and I have to admit that I am happy to be home. I have a lot on my mind, and to be honest, I am tired of “feeling”.
Feelings are exhausting sometimes, aren’t they? I guess this is why so many people spend so much of their lives trying to numb the pain in one way or another. I’ve been there. I’ve gone down the road of doing anything and everything in my power to numb my feelings in order to avoid suffering. And I’ve found that this never really works.
In the end, feelings always catch up to you. Attempting to ignore them really only prolongs the agony. It’s so much better to just let the feelings come, and wait them out until they pass. Because they do eventually pass. Always.
I’ve learned a lot about feelings over the years. I’ve learned that feelings aren’t necessarily wrong. Rather, they are instinctual and impulsive. They respond instantaneously to life, before logic has a chance to assess the situation. They are the innermost indicator of who we are, and where we are at. They are intuitive and informative. In general, if we are paying attention—if we are willing to take time to feel rather than rushing to react—our feelings will not betray us, but teach us.
I have felt a lot of things this past week. I have felt sorrow. I have felt sadness. I have felt anxiety. I have felt fear. I have felt insecurity. I have felt anger. But I have also felt joy. I have felt gratitude. I have felt excitement. I have felt satisfaction. I have felt love.
And the combination of these feelings this past week has taught me something. I have discovered that I am growing. I am responding differently to grief and tragedy today than I would have six months ago. I have taken massive steps forward, and I am actually learning how to process my negative emotions in a healthy way, rather than trying to numb the pain. I am learning, once again, to just feel. To feel, even when I don’t want to feel.
I am so thankful for this. I am so thankful for how far I have come. I am so thankful for the healing that has taken place in my heart. And I am even thankful that I will never really “arrive” in this lifetime, because that means that life will just keep getting better and better the more I learn and grow. I am excited for that. And I am excited to continue learning from my feelings.
What have your feelings taught you over the years? Do you tend to try to numb them out, or have you learned how to navigate them in healthy ways?
I’m glad you’re able to process your negative feelings better than before! I have a numbing tendency when it comes to feelings (through playing video games), so I’m slowly going through past emotional events while writing about them at my own pace, so I’ll eventually have them posted on my blog. I feel I’m ready for that. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s true, you have to be ready! But such a healthy practice when you are!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think being able to say that you are learning to process your emotions in a healthy way is such an amazing thing! That’s where I am in my journey too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s pretty cool – I’ve definitely relied on some super unhealthy methods in the past, so it’s cool to see myself turning a corner!
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing this. I am learning a lot about my feelings and how to process them, too. Writing always helps me and time spent in the Word.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen. Those two things are a must for me as well!
LikeLiked by 1 person