This morning I am grateful.
This might not be the response you would expect from someone who woke up around 4:30 and hasn’t been able to sleep since. And it wasn’t my initial response either. Initially, my response was annoyance and frustration. I know how important sleep is for mental health, and I am quite zealous when it comes to trying to get enough sleep in life. So when I wake up hours before my alarm and find myself unable to fall back asleep, I get tend to get a little distressed.
But today I have decided that it will not be helpful to start my day off on a negative note. So instead, I am here to write about the things I am thankful for, rather than being discouraged by my lack of sleep last night.
For starters, this morning I am grateful for solitude. I am thankful that I woke up early, specifically because it has allowed me some extra time to just be alone with my thoughts.
Lots of people find solitude lonely, but I find it energizing. I love having time to myself, and when I go without it for too long, I tend to go a little crazy.
This can be an interesting dynamic for someone who is married to an extroverted social butterfly. Ryan loves being with people and is energized in a crowd. We are very different this way, but we have learned to balance our differences over the years. A big part of this is acceptance—accepting that we are different and have different needs, and learning to respect and champion the other’s unique traits. This is another thing I am grateful for today. I am grateful for the fact that Ryan and I have come so far in our understanding of one another, and our ability to support and embrace each other’s distinctive attributes.
Speaking of attributes, one of my attributes that I am extremely grateful for this morning is resilience. Having taken a few moments to close my eyes and just sit in silent awareness, I feel very connected to my body and ever so thankful for the resilience it has shown through the years. I have put my body through a lot in my lifetime, from the effects of an eating disorder to the extreme symptoms of anxiety, not to mention other addictions along the way. Yet my body has healed. It is healing. And I am so thankful today for the resilience my body has shown in continuing to serve me now, even on this sleep deprived morning.
Finally, this morning I am grateful for grace. I am thankful that every day is a new chance to conquer the giants I face. And I am reassured by the knowledge that God isn’t holding on to a cosmic grudge about the ways I messed up yesterday. In fact, Lamentations 3:23 says that “His mercies begin afresh each morning.” What a gift!
I’m a little bit tired. And I’m aware that today will be harder for my lack of sleep. But I’m choosing to approach this day with positivity and gratitude. Because the world doesn’t stop turning when I have a bad day, and I don’t want to miss out on something significant because I had a rotten attitude.
And so, this morning I am grateful.
What are you grateful for today?