I sat down earlier to write a blog, but the words just weren’t coming. I had no inspiration, no direction. I felt like I didn’t have a story to tell today; there was nothing to report. It was a good day. I was tired, but satisfied. That was all.
But that wouldn’t have made much of a blog post, so I decided to go for a walk outside to help me focus my thoughts. That always helps. The snow had melted by midday yesterday, and the sun was shining in the sky once again. It was still much cooler than it had been earlier in the week, but the crisp air was brisk and refreshing.
I thought and prayed as I walked, like I so often do. And suddenly something delightful dawned on me. I’ve been having a lot of good days lately! I’ve been consistently happy and grateful. I’ve been finding reasons to choose joy, despite my circumstances. My disposition is changing!
In fact, I would say that I have experienced almost a complete, 180-degree turnaround from where I was at six months ago. Back then, I was relentlessly anxious and overwhelmed by emotions. I just felt like I was constantly drowning, and no matter how hard I fought, I could barely keep my head above the water.
But since January, my life has slowly but surely been starting to make sense again. I have observed and often discussed the progress that I have made throughout my Braver Than Before journey, but it has never really dawned on me how vastly different my life has become than it was only a few short months ago. I feel like a brand new woman!
I have grace for myself in ways I never had before. I am letting go of the little things and loving myself despite my faults. I am joyful, even on the hard days. I find reasons to smile and to be grateful, even when I’m tired, anxious, or overwhelmed. I am learning my limits. I am willing to take risks to grow in faith and to face my fears, but I am also learning when to stop pushing myself and to be okay with the times that “I’m just not there yet.”
I am loving life. I am genuinely loving life! There are still things about life that are hard. There are things that I am afraid of. There are scenarios that overwhelm me and lots of situations that make me feel anxious. But I’m not drowning in them anymore. I’m not only learning to swim, but also to love the water.
It’s a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful feeling. And I couldn’t be more grateful!