Each day this month I will be answering one question from these December Journal Prompts.
Day 12: If you could tell your past self anything, one year ago, what would you tell yourself?
One year ago today was Avra’s due date! So, the first thing that comes to mind when I read this question is that I would tell myself to get comfortable… because the baby is not coming for eight more days! Next, I’d give myself permission to ease off all the floor scrubbing, long walks, red raspberry leaf tea, and everything else I did to try to get things moving along naturally… because in the end, I had to be induced anyway!
But in all seriousness, looking back on where I was at a year ago, I genuinely don’t think she needed a whole lot of advice from a one-year-older me. As I thought about this question, I decided to pull out my journal from last December to see what kinds of things I was telling myself back then.
Last December 12th, I spent my quiet time journaling my thoughts on several verses from Psalm 18. My focus was on taking refuge in God and drawing strength from Him as I went into what felt like the scariest unknown of my entire life—labor and delivery! But the thoughts I poured out onto the pages of my journal that day were full of beautiful truths that I still need to be reminded of today (and every day). Here are a couple of my favorite parts:
I am not my own rock. My knowledge or my strength will not be enough to stand on during the intense hardship of labor and delivery, or any other challenge that I may face in life. I need a better, stronger rock than myself or any other person. I need one who is eternal and in whom I can take refuge, even when everything goes wrong. People crumble when life goes awry. God does not. That is why He is the best and only foundation worth standing on. When I feel myself slipping into fear or despair, I need to reevaluate and ask myself, “who is my rock right now?” The answer should always be Jesus.
If I remain standing on God—who is my firm foundation—there won’t be anything I can’t do. He will be my help and my strength through all of life’s battles. He will be my promise of deliverance when the situation seems bleak. He will bring light into the dark moments and illuminate the path for me to take. I simply must remain planted on this firm foundation and resist the temptation to take over and try to be in control. God alone is God. He is my rock. And I will trust in Him.
So, I think if I could say something to my past self, one year ago, I would simply say “thank you.”
Thank you for being brave.
Thank you for digging into God’s word and taking to heart what it says about fear and foundations.
Thank you for writing down these thoughts so that I could look back on them a year later and learn from them again. I needed this today.
And thank you for putting your trust in God and showing me that we can do this. I can do this. I can get through anything life throws at me, as long as I am standing on the right foundation.